FS: The $4 lens table

Discussion in '[Classifieds] For Sale' started by Jon Goodman, Dec 16, 2012.

  1. Jon Goodman

    Jon Goodman Member

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    Think of this post as a card table in my front yard with me sitting behind it. On that table are several screwmount (M42) lenses--with the exception of one Helios (as noted). You can buy any of them for $4 each, or you can buy all of them for $4 each plus the actual cost of shipping, naturally.

    So what's on the table?

    We have:

    1. Hanimex 35mm / 3.5. Fixed aperture type, good glass, very good condition, smooth focus action, aperture down to 22 and takes very nice pictures.
    2. Vivitar 135mm / 2.8. Has good, in nice to very nice condition, aperture is good but doesn't seem to open completely (and I don't know what that is about, but I'm nearly positive it isn't a tumor). Focus action good, hood a bit loose, some dust. Has auto/manual selector and aperture down to 32.
    3. Portertown 135mm / 2.8. Very good to excellent, good glass, tight hood, fine aperture. Takes terrific pictures.
    4. JC Penney (Japanese) 135mm / 2.8. Very good to excellent. Hoodless, fine glass, auto/manual selector, smooth focus, fine aperture.
    5. RMC Tokina Zoom 80-200 / 4.5. Very good to excellent, good glass, hoodless, no zoom creep, takes great pictures, close focusing zoom, smooth action.
    6. Helios 44-2 lenses. Actually this is a two for one deal. One is 39mm mount and one is 42mm mount. Both are well used but both have smooth action. The glass in the 39mm is better but by no means perfect. Still it takes very good pictures, and I believe you could swap the lens elements from one to the other in these lenses.
    7. 3x multiplier (APS brand with caps)
    8. 2x multiplier (Vivitar with case and caps)

    If questions, please ask.

    PayPal ok for international but check/cash/money order for domestic, please.

    Jon
     

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  2. nanthor

    nanthor Member

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    Will you ever run out of new and interesting ways to sell your wares? nice idea, I like yard sales, oops, its starting to rain, better get everything inside. GLWS, Bob Nancarrow
     
  3. randyB

    randyB Subscriber

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    PM sent on #1 and #6
     
  4. Fixcinater

    Fixcinater Subscriber

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    Also interested in #6, both of them.
     
  5. jp498

    jp498 Member

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    The helios will be a fun lens for whoever gets them.!
     
  6. Jon Goodman

    Jon Goodman Member

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    Thanks for the compliment Bob.
    The nice thing about an imaginary yard sale is so many things don't bother me (heat, rain, cold, darkness, dogs, etc) and I almost never suffer pilferage.
    Jon
     
  7. Jon Goodman

    Jon Goodman Member

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    #1 and #6 are gone. The rest wait in loneliness here on the imaginary card table.
    Jon
     
  8. StoneNYC

    StoneNYC Inactive

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    Wish these were LF haha


    ~Stone

    The Noteworthy Ones - Mamiya: 7 II, RZ67 Pro II / Canon: 1V, AE-1 / Kodak: No 1 Pocket Autographic, No 1A Pocket Autographic

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
  9. Jon Goodman

    Jon Goodman Member

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    Buck Cannon takes over...

    While shaving this morning, I was thinking that maybe some of the things I’ve offered here on good old APUG aren’t selling because the listings lack excitement. I mean, just how exciting are old cameras and lenses? Hardly anybody is going to try to turn what I’m writing into a Hollywood movie. Well, okay maybe if Billy Crystal and Bette Middler simultaneously need another payday. But otherwise, I doubt it.

    So, right here on APUG, I’m going to write a suspense novel with a complex plot…some international intrigue in hope of selling some cameras…and lenses...and other things of course...popcorn will be available during intermission at $5 a sack. Lenses and lens multipliers at $4 each plus cost of postage.

    Section I​

    Chapter one:
    Buck Cannon drove downtown looking like an agitated version of a younger Sean Connery. He kicked open the door of Hodpecker’s Camera Repair and said in a gruff voice "My Mamiya got busted." His girlfriend Nymphia Scooterpie followed him in, her fingertip seductively pulling down her pouty lower lip and moving like 115 pounds of intoxicating smoke. Elmo Hodpecker, a very large but usually courteous man, reaches under the counter and pulls out a sawed-off shotgun. Pointing it at Buck, he says "Oh, yeah? Well your Mama can keep my Mama company. She’s doing 3 to 5 for writing bad checks down at the Piggly Wiggly. So go tell your priest about it, punk." Buck spits out his cigarette, narrows his steely blue eyes into 2 slits and says "Something doesn't make sense here. First, I don’t smoke. Second, Piggly Wiggly closed all their stores 15 years ago. That means your Mama couldn’t have dropped bad paper there 3 to 5 years ago. Do you think I flunked out of first grade? Its starting to look like you just don’t want to fix my Mamiya." Nymphia reaches around Buck and into his jeans to get the keys to the Gremlin. She says "Buck, I’m going to 7-11 to get a cherry Slurpee. You want me to get you some Slim Jims and Twinkies for lunch?"

    Chapter two:
    Thirty two timezones to the East, Russian President Vitaly Jackavonovich is nervously pacing the floor of his dacha while his girlfriend, Ahna Mata Poeia reclines indolently on the chaise. He picks up the phone and dials his friend Texas Governor Preston Pusbucket. "Preston, my friend," he says "I need your help. I need a man capable of telling me what the Japanese are doing. You know…I do not always trust them." Preston lobs an empty Pearl beer bottle at the trash can in his office and misses by a yard. It skittles across the floor in front of his secretary, Mildred. "Aw, hell, Jack," says Preston "This sounds like a job for Buck Cannon." Vitaly says "My name is not Jack." Preston replies "Whatever" and opens another bottle of Pearl.

    Chapter three:
    Preston calls Buck’s cell phone, which is always in the front pocket of his jeans. He has the ringer off but the vibrate function enabled when the call from the Governor comes in. Buck and Elmo are like two cobras locked in a mutual death stare, concentrating on the slightest move. "Doggone it, Nymphia" yells Buck…"quit fondling my williediddle while Elmo is pointing a shotgun at me." At this point Elmo rolls his eyes and mutters something about the dumbing down of America and how his tax dollars are just totally wasted because of this Robin Hood school funding scheme and all these stupid reality shows. He fires above Buck’s head and Buck wets his pants as he is running out the door.

    Chapter four:
    Buck slides into the Gremlin as he takes Preston’s call. Nymphia hits the gas and heads instinctively toward the airport. This isn’t exactly her first rodeo. "Buck" says Preston "I need you to go to Japan and tell me what those guys are doing." Buck says "Which guys? There are about 127,417,244 guys over there." Preston looks skyward and mutters "Oh man, I knew that Robin Hood plan was a mistake. The GOVERNMENT, Buck. Tell me what those government guys are doing." Buck thinks to himself "Why doesn’t he just call and ask them?" Then he remembers "Preston Pusbucket can’t speak Japanese and he is wasted almost every day." "Sure thing, Preston," replies Buck as he slips his broken Mamiya into his case.

    Chapter Five:
    Buck unwraps a Slim Jim on the plane heading for Tokyo. He reaches into his case and removes his Mamiya. He thinks to himself "Maybe I should just sell this doggone thing. The prices are really falling off the cliff on all this medium format gear…I wonder if that is the fiscal cliff all the politicians have been so worried about." Then he nods off, dreaming about his idea to solve the taxation problem present in the USA today.

    ~~intermission~~​
     
  10. ArtO

    ArtO Member

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    Wonderful Jon.....I look forward to the continued adventures of Buck, his Mamiya and, of course, Nymphia
     
  11. Jon Goodman

    Jon Goodman Member

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    Section II​
    Chapter Six:
    The stewardess jostles Buck awake from his power nap. She says "dinner will be delayed a while, sir. We’re having some turbulence." Buck replies, "Those don’t agree with me, Miss. Could I substitute carrots or hominy?" She smiles and says "The Robin Hood plan, right?"

    Buck realizes it is time for him to switch into secret agent mode, so he makes his way into the rest room where he changes into fresh jeans, wrapping his others in the barf bag and stashing them in his case.

    Chapter Seven:
    After great effort, Buck finds a Gremlin at the Tokyo "Rent-A-Wreck" lot. Heading toward town, he sees "Suzio’s Camera Repair" tucked into a cluster of small stores, so he parks and steps inside. Suzio says "Gleetings." Buck replies "I speak Japanese." Suzio says "Yes, but readers of this book possibry just be confuse by that, so I speak in Engrish with exaggelated accent for speciar effect." Buck asks "Should I speak with accent, also?" Suzio says "If you wish." Buck replies "Sho’nuff, bro. This stone righteous Mamiya be busted." Suzio picks it up, quickly inspects it and says "I think maybe your Mamiya just reeks, but I can fix that." Buck says "Well, yeah, that’s because I had to put into the case with the jeans I peed in when Hodpecker pop a cap at me. Is there a laundry in this here hood?" Suzio says "Your camera reeks right." Buck says "Right! I practically peed on it, so it should reek." Suzio groans and points to a laundry across the way.

    Chapter Eight:
    Buck steps out of Suzio’s with his barf bag, heading for the laundry. An hour later he returns to the camera shop with his jeans cleaned and says to Suzio "Say, little buddy, that Japanese laundry seems to be run by Indian people. What the heck is that about?" Suzio replies "You don’t read the paper? Everything is being outsourced now. Nobody wants to work. Laziness abounds." Buck says "Hey, where is your accent?" Suzio says "It was too tedious, and besides I grew up in Idaho. Your camera is fixed. That will be $20." Buck says "where did you find the light seal material to repair it?" Suzio says "Oh I have a friend in Dallas who sells seal kits named Jon Goodman. Anyone can do it and look…here is a link to the site where some of his repair instructions are hosted: http://www.kyphoto.com/classics/sealreplacement.html There are two for Mamiya cameras, and it is all so easy." Buck says "I really like that Japanese music on your radio." Suzio replies "That is ‘Bad Sneakers’ by Steely Dan with Michael McDonald singing in the background. Are you a product of the miserable Robin Hood plan?"

    Chapter Nine:
    On the way to the hotel, Buck senses he is being followed. He thinks to himself "What would Tom Cruise do?" A faraway voice in his brain shouts "Hey dumbass, Tom Cruise is a mixed-up perpetual adolescent, so who really cares what he would do?"

    Chapter Ten:
    Buck is relaxing in his hotel room when he hears a knock at the door. After the knock, he hears "Loom Service." Buck opens the door to find two armed Japanese men who tie and blindfold him with near lightning speed. Rummaging through his case and speaking in Japanese, one asks "Is this the American Agent we are supposed to kill? It smells like he peed in this case, and he is driving a Gremlin. I think you followed the wrong car, ace." The second one says "contact Ahna Mata Poeia. Ask her what to do next."

    Chapter Eleven:
    Ahna answers her phone and during a brief conversation in Japanese says "Rats! Evidently news of our diabolical plot leaked and you bozos have been following a decoy there. Release him in a way which will draw no suspicion and head straight for Ouchy-Lausanne. I will meet you there. We must accelerate the plan." The Japanese man asks Ahna "What if he understands what we have been talking about?" Ahna replies "A Gremlin-driving Robin Hood Plan-educated rube from Texas? You’ll be lucky if he can tie his shoes, much less understand Japanese." "Good point" says her henchman and lets Buck loose. "So solly, mister Buck. Honorable hamburger with flench flies will be sent up soon."

    Chapter Twelve:
    Buck is thinking how mediocre the hamburger is and how much money he could make with a Whataburger franchise in Japan when it dawns on him "Hey, I can speak Japanese! I wonder why those room service guys and that woman named Ahna were going to a town on the French-Swiss border? Something is telling me to follow them. I wonder if it might be the same fellow who answered my question about Tom Cruise."

    Chapter Thirteen:
    Pulling the Gremlin into Ouchy-Lausanne, Buck sees two shadowy looking men heading across the border. They look Japanese. They are shorter and more heavy-set than Buck remembers from the hotel, and Buck wonders if they could be twins or at least brothers. All these people look the same, he laments. Buck takes a picture from the comfort of his car.

    Chapter Fourteen:
    Buck swaggers into a dark and smoky downstairs tavern near the border crossing. A lone shapely female is seated at the bar with her back to him. Buck slips the SUNPAK 611 flash on his Mamiya and flips the switch to turn it on. Hearing the telltale "zzzzz" of the flash unit, Ahna spins around to face Buck, reaching into her purse at the same time. Buck snaps the picture, and the flash blinds Ahna. She fires the small Russian derringer she has pulled from her purse toward the source of the light, and above Buck’s head wood flies from the thick roof beam. He runs upstairs and out the door quickly, but avoids peeing on himself this time.


    ~~Intermission~~
    Lenses and lens multipliers for sale at $4 each in the lobby. Don't miss the exciting conclusion.​
     
  12. ArtO

    ArtO Member

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    Heck this is better than a Saturday Morning Serial down to the Bijou.
     
  13. Jon Goodman

    Jon Goodman Member

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    Section III​

    Chapter Fifteen:
    His heart still racing, Buck jogs across the border into the French village of Evian. He ducks into a pastry shop, purchases a croissant or two, begins a conversation with an attractive young woman named Marie and watches as Ahna catches up with the two Japanese versions of Peter Lorre. He leaves the shop and follows at a safe distance as the three walk out of town. Soon they come to a bottling plant where water is stored in clear plastic bottles stacked into great piles. There is a water bottlers strike going on in France, so the plant is idle. Buck hides behind a stack and thirsty from the croissants and the walk, begins drinking. He finishes two bottles as he struggles to hear to their broken conversation. They are very interested in a barrel which has the words "virus de grippe" written on it. He takes a picture of them while they are near the barrel. He hears them agree to meet there at 6:00 AM the next morning. After they leave, Buck slips over to the area where they’d been standing to search for clues. Finding none, he realizes the water he has consumed has taken its toll on his bladder, and he must find a place to tinkle.

    Chapter Sixteen:
    Everything is closed and locked, obviously for security reasons. Finally in desperation, he lifts the lid of the barrel and pees in there. Walking back toward the border, Buck is overcome with guilt. Knowing he can’t leave a barrel of something he contaminated in the vicinity of a water bottling plant, he heads back. With effort, he is able to tip the barrel over and completely empty its contents onto the ground. Using a nearby garden hose, he rinses the barrel, refills it with clean water and replaces the lid. He takes a picture, removes the film from the Mamiya, and mails that to Preston Pusbucket. His Visa card maxed out, he returns to the pastry shop to apply for a job. He just needs enough for a plane ticket home. Marie says she is happy for him to live with her as long as he wants.

    Chapter Seventeen:
    Weeks later, Buck Cannon steps off the plane in Texas to a hero’s welcome. While he was busy icing éclairs and learning French from Marie, the film made it to Preston, Preston scanned the pictures and sent them to Vitaly, Vitaly put two and two together and figured out his sweetheart Ahna and her two Japanese thug friends were planning to end the world. Everybody was amazed and at the press conference the questions flew like bats out of Carlsbad Caverns at sundown. How did Buck see it all so quickly? Did shots really come from the grassy knoll? How did he know pissing in the barrel would raise the ph factor to the point the virus would die? Why haven’t these cameras and lenses sold yet? And how about the SUNPAK 611 flash? Has it sold yet? Is Nymphia Scooterpie her real name? How did he instantly come up with the plan to fill the barrel with harmless water so that no danger could exist? How did Buck single-handedly end the threat of….The Evian Flu?

    ~~The End~~​
     
  14. ArtO

    ArtO Member

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    Bravo! Bravo! and an extra Bravo for Buck.
     
  15. Jon Goodman

    Jon Goodman Member

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    I've been asked about the Portertown lens and whether I could show any pictures taken with it. Just a few minutes ago, I took these with the Portertown lens and the Vivitar 2x multiplier. I attached the lens and multiplier to my Pentax *istD. One is a Christmas ornament taken inside with available light and no flash. The other is an outside shot of a brick on the top of my wing wall with a yellow road sign in the background (maybe 15 yards distant) Each was taken at a distance of about 12~16 feet and wide open. This will give you an idea of what sort of espionage work you could do with the lens. Hope this is helpful. If you need images with the lens only, please let me know.
    Jon
     

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  16. Jon Goodman

    Jon Goodman Member

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    JC Penney and Vivitar examples below. Same basic shot, same lighting, within a minute or two apart. Personally I have always thought the JC Penney lens (which looks an awful lot like a Chinon) did nicer work.
    Jon
     

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  17. Jon Goodman

    Jon Goodman Member

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    And an example of one of the many entertaining things you can do with this $4 zoom lens and a wee bit of imagination. I took the first shot last year. Just cropped it to protect an innocent bystander from becoming an unwilling internet celebrity. I took the second shot about 3 minutes ago. Not cropped, not photoshopped. Just a zoom blur shot originating with a single Christmas ball that I rotated and saved. Buy all these lenses and I'll teach you how to take shots like this (using film or digital) if you don't already know.
    Jon
     

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  18. DSLR

    DSLR Member

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    lol Very entertaining thread.
     
  19. randyB

    randyB Subscriber

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    Rec'd the lenses, excellant packaging, I've enjoyed the posts also, RandyB