When I photographed my grandmother, my mother's mother, the last thing to tell me was "To have something to remember me when I am dead". My other grandmother passed away lately. My father's mother. It has been difficult as she was sick for some time and she had lost progressively her mind before the end. Since I got the Hasselblad a year ago, I had wanting to take a portrait of her but she was already in a very bad shape. And so I kept postponing it. In the end, I couldn't do it. It was difficult to do the whole thing and I also felt like I would be taking the photograph for the grave. I don't know if it is the same for war photographers, but this was a person dear to me not someone unknown. After she died I keep having doubts and keep thinking if I should have pushed myself more to do it. I am still not sure. I do remember in the funeral though that I felt like having my Hasselblad with me, just to make myself feel a bit better. I have thought of writting this for a long time, even the next day of the funeral, but only now I felt right. Did you ever have trouble pressing the shutter?