Cover-My -A to "seem" OK and the truth aren't the same things. I loaned a very expensive lens to a stranger (I wanted to get to know her). She seem very interesting but also very diffedent. Imagination overwhelmed common sense in terms of address, deposit, verification of insurance, references, Etc. There was a dirth of communication. I had her e-mail address and her phone number. Altitude, weather, and impassible roads of winter overtook her darkroom location. I stewed about my impulsiveness. I wasn't using the lens as my darkroom was being relocated. Many months later I fianlly sent an e-mail and the lens appeared very shortly. Now a year later, fate has given me the second opportunity to go through this again. Unfortunately I've not matured "spiritually" to proceed with grace. I am erked with myself either way as I don't believe that I can "gracefully" lend it without a lot of self-talk all the while. Yet, even loaning equipment to a friend can turn out disastrous. Dropping, theft, tightening too much happen easily. So the truth sees how small I am. I'm chagrinned with my poverty and that's the truth.