View Full Version : That Robert............


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blansky
08-01-2006, 08:56 PM
As you probably know I wander over to my favorite place on the planet, Hawaii, every 6 months so my wife can charge her batteries. She doesn’t bring it with her so guess that’s what she’s doing.

So somehow Robert (roteague) found out we were coming over and emailed me and said we should go to Haleakala and photograph the sun coming up. Well in my opinion if God had wanted us to be photographing sunrises he would have made them later in the day, but hey, that’s just me. So not wanting to disappoint Robert, although for most of the exchanges we used to have on the soapbox, I got the feeling that he was plenty disappointed in me already, I agreed to meet him.

As you probably know I’m a Hasselblad shooter and as a hot dog portrait photographer I also have the newest and greatest toys that keep popping out of the Japanese factories in China every week. So yeah, I have the Nikon D200 and yeah, it’s everything they say it is. I figure this would be the perfect time to break it in and what better place that at a volcano 100,000 feet up in Paradise.

So I meet Robert at 4 in the morning (yes, I said 4 in the morning) at our agreed upon location and proceed to take his rental car up to the top of the mountain. Robert is far too cheery for this early in the morning and I figured he must be drunk, but as it turns out he’s just a happy guy. That’s one strike against him already.

When we finally arrive at the top of the mountain I get out, grab the D200, and proceed to look for a good location. He meanwhile drags this big suitcase from the trunk and lugs it over to me. He bends down, opens it up, and I see these cardboard bellows. I think, oh God, don’t tell me there’s some tradition in Hawaii that you have to play Polka Music to the gods while the sun comes up. Hawaii’s a very spiritual place and with many strange traditions here. Even the whole aloha thing can be confusing, because after a few drinks you don’t know if you’re coming or going, but that’s another story.

I think to myself, that I’m thankful we aren’t on some hill in Scotland and he wants play that thing that sounds like a bunch of cats gang raping a porcupine. But he lugs the thing out and I see he’s got one of those cameras that look like it belonged to Mathew Brady’s grandfather. He says proudly, what do you think? I smile sheepishly and give him the thumbs up.

I feel embarrassed for the guy, cause if I knew he didn’t have any money, I’d have let him take the D200 for a spin. The place is teeming with people believe it or not, and I sort of distance myself away from him while he snaps the thing together. When I say people I’m using the term metaphorically. It’s a bunch of nuts and granola types (heavy on the nuts) wearing Birkenstocks and tie-dyed parkas. The temperature up here on this bloody mountain in Paradise is barely above freezing, which compounds my wondering what the fuck I’m doing here. But I kind of mingle with the New Agers, careful to not make any eye contact in case they want to engage in some type of monosyllabic conversation. I look back at Robert and he has the antique all set up on a tripod, placed a blanket over the back, and is proceeding to flip it up and stick his head under. He looks like he’s about to do a pap smear or something. I’m just waiting for him to pull his head out and exclaim, “Congratulation, IT’S A BOY”

So I’m wandering around, trying to contain my excitement at this whole sunrise thing, and starting to feel a little lightheaded. I’d like to blame it on the attitude but the air is thick with the same smell that used to waft out of any 1968 Volkswagon Magic MicroBus that you had the misfortune to stand near. I feel like I magically landed at the Albuquerque Hot Air Balloon and Peyote Festival. I know one thing, there’s nobody here suffering from the effects of Chemo today.

I slide over to the mouth of the crater (volcano) and peer in. The song Great Balls of Fire starts playing in my head, so I pull my legs together and hope I didn’t do anything to piss off the Goddess Haleakala. SURPRISE……. Ha Ha.Bang you’re toast. I’m not sure if Haleakala is a goddess or not, but right now she is to me.

Slowly a great cheer goes up and I look back as the sun pops it’s head over the marine layer clouds and greets the great stoned masses. It’s sort of a tradition in Hawaii to clap and cheer the sunrises and sunsets. I’ve done my share of cheering the sunsets during happy hour so I generally leave the sunrises to someone else. One person can’t be expected to do it all.

I grab up the D200 fire off 13 shots in less than two seconds and look for Robert so we can get the hell out of here. New Agers are generally really slow drivers and I’ve got an appointment with Leilani for a massage at 10 o’clock on the beach. Now Leilani is the vision of the elegance and grace that eminates from the Hawaiian people, except that I think she’s Samoan. The reason I think that is because her knuckles drag on the ground. Now for most people that may be a bit of a handicap but for a masseuse it can be an asset. She is able to stand up while I’m laying in the sand and still give me a great massage without bending over. No heavy massage table for her, to lug around.

So I’ve got Leilani on my mind and there’s Robert leisurely sliding film in and out of the
old accordian, having the time of his life. I wander over and tell him that I’ve already got the pictures and if he wants I’ll send him a copy. He say’s he just got a few shots to go and so I tell him I’ll meet him at the car.

Well to make a long story short, I made it to the beach and Leilani, and by noon I was completely wasted, my baby at my side, laying in the Hawaiian sun ordering fu-fu drinks from the pool bar.

Oh yeah, for some reason the D200 malfunctioned at that altitude and the flash didn’t go off so my pictures were completely black. Luckily, I was able to fixed them in photoshop. I never did get to see Robert’s. But really, how good could they be. He shot them with an accordian.

PS. If you ask him real nice maybe he’ll post one.


Michael

naturephoto1
08-01-2006, 09:06 PM
Michael,

Such is the life of a large format transparency landscape shooter. Maybe you and others will have more appreciation for what we do. :D

Rich

colrehogan
08-01-2006, 09:10 PM
Michael,

Such is the life of a large format transparency landscape shooter. Maybe you and others will have more appreciation for what we do. :D

Rich
I agree with what you said Rich.

blaze-on
08-01-2006, 09:37 PM
Well apparently Robert didn't find you worthy of actually playing the accordian so you could shoot sunrises to the tune of moonlight serenade.

I thought he did a splendid rendition whilst visiting my campsite in Oregon last year.

Much to my later dismay, it was only Robert snoring melodically as he slept in the front seat of his rental..sigh, thought I was special..

Allen Friday
08-01-2006, 09:39 PM
Well done, blansky. I like my red wine, martinis and humor the same way--dry.

DBP
08-01-2006, 09:42 PM
Ah, yes, the 19th century version of the camera equipped Ipod.

John McCallum
08-01-2006, 10:09 PM
Gotta say that sounds just like Robert.

Well actually come to think of it. If I knew he was such a good host I'd have treated him to more than a day trip to my favourite trees and stumps photographic location and a pint at the local when he came down this way to see us.

Ah well. Would that we all could share a sunrise from a volcano at four in the morning with the quality intrepid landscaper next to the equator.

thebanana
08-01-2006, 10:39 PM
Sounds like a fine trip, although us stubble jumpers have a hard time imagining anyone living in Californ-eye-a needing to go somewhere else to recharge! Robert didn't bring his accordian to Toronto (something about not being able to afford the freight). Maybe next year.

MurrayMinchin
08-01-2006, 11:19 PM
Haleakala must of been on vacation too, you lucky bastard.

Murray

roteague
08-02-2006, 12:05 AM
Michael, Michael, Michael......

I loved your story .... the problem is, you and I didn't meet until the conference in Toronto, much less on the summit of Haleakala. Of course, you and your wife have a standing invitation to visit - although, I admit I don't know Maui very well, I know Kauai and Big Island much better.

Since you asked, here is a Haleakala sunrise for you...

http://www.visionlandscapes.com/Working/HI1782.jpg

Sorry, this one was done with a Nikon N80 and Fuji Velvia 50.

Up until yesterday, I've never even seen a D200, much less handle one. I did handle it a bit, but I still prefer my F5.

MattKing
08-02-2006, 12:15 AM
Michael, Michael, Michael......

I loved your story .... the problem is, you and I didn't meet until the conference in Toronto, much less on the summit of Haleakala.


Better be careful Robert, this must mean that Blansky is hallucinating about you :D .

MurrayMinchin
08-02-2006, 12:21 AM
Hmmmm...

Either Micheal is lying, or Robert is trying to distance himself from what really transpired between them while bathed in the magical glowing warmth of a Haleakala sunrise...

Murray

naturephoto1
08-02-2006, 12:24 AM
Hmmmm...

Either Micheal is lying, or Robert is trying to distance himself from what really transpired between them while bathed in the magical glowing warmth of a Haleakala sunrise...

Murray

My suspicion is that Michael has pulled a fast one on us here at APUG. :rolleyes:

Rich

MurrayMinchin
08-02-2006, 12:52 AM
My suspicion is that Michael has pulled a fast one on us here at APUG. :rolleyes:


Oops...I guess I forgot my nudge-nudge-wink-wink I'm joking around here too face ;)

Murray

David A. Goldfarb
08-02-2006, 12:59 AM
Robert and I really did get together a couple of weeks ago. He lent me one of his longboards that has enough room for a tripod so we could go view camera surfing at Sandy Beach near Honolulu. There's nothing like 4x5" to show all the detail inside a curl. Can't wait to get home and process the sheets.

Bob F.
08-02-2006, 01:44 AM
Obviously a made up story as (clearly) there is no such thing as 4 o'clock in the morning. 4 a.m. is still the middle of the night - regardless of how bright it might happen to be: that's just astronomy...

Nicely written though ;)

Cheers, Bob.

Ole
08-02-2006, 03:25 AM
Thank god I live in Norway, where sunrise in summer is at 2 am in the (late) evening - and in winter, 11 am in the morning (immediately followed by sunset - you don't even have to move the camera)!

colrehogan
08-02-2006, 07:57 AM
Thank god I live in Norway, where sunrise in summer is at 2 am in the (late) evening - and in winter, 11 am in the morning (immediately followed by sunset - you don't even have to move the camera)!

Now that I'd like to see!

arigram
08-02-2006, 08:22 AM
Truth or not, that definately sounds like a mean thing that Robert did to Michael. I can really sympathise with the fellow bandit-shaven man.
I mean, what's the whole deal with lugging heavy accordeons in the middle of the night? Apart from those people who approach you at the cafes to play waltz and tango and ask for a few pennies, I don't get the fascination of other grown men.
Granted, they do us a favor, since us we city dwellers don't have to get up to milk the goats at this hour, so we get to see what a sunset appear to look like.

The story also tells me though that Michael must be either abusing his medication lately, taking too little of it, or having certain fantasies that are better remain that way.

Markok765
08-02-2006, 08:26 AM
Truth or not, that definately sounds like a mean thing that Robert did to Michael. I can really sympathise with the fellow bandit-shaven man.
I mean, what's the whole deal with lugging heavy accordeons in the middle of the night? Apart from those people who approach you at the cafes to play waltz and tango and ask for a few pennies, I don't get the fascination of other grown men.
Granted, they do us a favor, since us we city dwellers don't have to get up to milk the goats at this hour, so we get to see what a sunset appear to look like.

The story also tells me though that Michael must be either abusing his medication lately, taking too little of it, or having certain fantasies that are better remain that way.
Dont diss Lfers! They have those beautiful huge velvia trannies. *Drools....*

arigram
08-02-2006, 08:32 AM
Dont diss Lfers! They have those beautiful huge velvia trannies. *Drools....*

When I hear the word "tranny" I can't stop thinking of those tall women in skimpy clothes that roam certain streets at night and have a bit too much of masculinity on them. Granted the words aren't that close but still...

Then, its awfully close to "granny" or even "grammy" for that matter.

I don't diss LFers or sunset hunters, I marvel at Nature's every weird creation...

blansky
08-02-2006, 10:14 AM
http://www.visionlandscapes.com/Working/HI1782.jpg

.


Hmmmm. It seemed so real.





Michael

BradS
08-02-2006, 11:00 AM
but michael, did the Goddess Haleakela had a Brazilian wax? Tan lines? Come now, details man, details!


(Bravo! Michael).

Gerald Koch
08-02-2006, 11:02 AM
Well in my opinion if God had wanted us to be photographing sunrises he would have made them later in the day
Someone once remarked that a sunrise was merely a sunset in reverse. ;-)

MurrayMinchin
08-02-2006, 01:31 PM
Oh how Earthcentric of you people...it's not a sunrise or sunset, it's really an Earthrotate :rolleyes:

Murray


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