View Full Version : That Marko......


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blansky
09-26-2006, 12:26 PM
It must have been a couple of years ago now, I was at the Snoopy Rink playing hockey and it was going pretty well. I had 4 or 5 goals and the goalie was starting to get really pissy. I guess I’d chinked a couple of slapshots off his facemask and he was yelling and swearing at me. What a baby.

My defense partner skated over and mentioned that I really shouldn’t hit our own goalie in the facemask during warm-ups, and cheering whenever I put one past him was kind of a no-no in warm-ups as well. I’m thinking, that little twerp. Whatever happened to old time hockey. Johnny Bower never ever wore a mask and this baby is crying about a few dings. Probably worried I’d ruin the $400 paint job.

So the game finally starts and in the first period I get into it with this guy, and we both drop the gloves and start wailing on each other. Really he was wailed on me and since we have really slow refs he got quite a few shots in before they broke it up. Finally they got him off me, and they gave me 2 minutes for hurting his knuckles and a ten minute misconduct for bleeding all over the ice. So I’m sitting in the penalty box waiting for the blood to clot and this kid comes up and stands beside me.

"Whatch doin?", he says.
I turned and looked at him.
I said “what does it look like I’m doing, I’m sitting in the penalty box”.
He says, “is that real blood?
“Real enough”, I replied

He says, “you really showed that guy.”
“Thanks,” I said, “yeah I sure did. “
He says, “I though you were going to break his hand,”
I said, “yeah I think I hurt him pretty bad that third time I hit him with my cheek.”
He said, “you get into a lot of fights?”
“No” I said, “not anymore.”
“You looked pretty good.”
“Thanks”, rolling my eyes.

He says, “ I play hockey ya know.”
“Do ya.”
“Yeah I’m pretty good.”
“That’s nice.”
“You want me to show you.”
“No.”
“Here give me your stick and I’ll show ya.”
“No”
“What are you afraid of.”
“I’m not afraid of anything, there’s a game going on.”
“I can play better than those guys.”
“That’s nice.”
“Can I try on your gloves.”
“No”
“ I can skate really fast.”
“That’s nice.”
“I bet I can skate faster than you.”
I stared at him….” Kid everybody can skate faster than me. Everybody except the guy that runs the rink. And he’s 92.”

“I have a great slapshot.”
“Really?”
“Wanna see.”
“No.”
“A great wrist shot too.”
“Good.”
“I bet my wrist shot is harder than your slap shot.”
I looked at him. “Undoubtedly.”
“My backhand is probably my best shot.”
I’m thinking a backhand sounds pretty good right about now.

“Can I try on your helmet.”
“NO.”
“Your nose is still bleeding.”
“Thanks I know.”
“Think it’s broken?”
“ No.”
“How do you know.”
“Cause I’ve broken it before and it doesn’t hurt as bad as then.”
“Can I touch it?”
“NO.”
“What number are you.”
“ I don’t know. Look on the back of the jersey.”
“It says number 4.”
“Right, Bobby Orr’s number.”
“I don’t know him. Maybe that guy that you got into a fight with. Maybe that’s Bobby Orr and he’s mad cause you took his jersey.”
“Don’t think so.”
“Well he was mad about something.”
“I think I crosschecked him.”
“Is that legal?”
“No”
“No wonder.”
“Did you crosscheck that Orr guy and take his jersey?”
“Uh, no.”

“Did I tell you I can skate really fast.”
“Yes.”
“Can I try on your skates and show you?”
“ NO”
“Yeah you’re right they look too big for me. I can skate backwards you know.”
“Good.”
“Sometimes I have trouble stopping.”
“Why am I not surprised.”
“Do you play every day?”
“No. I play every week.”
“I could come and watch you next week if you want.”
“ No!!”
“How much do they pay you to play?”
I look at him. “They don’t pay me, I have to pay to play.”
He says, “is that because you can’t skate very fast?”
“I guess so.”
“If you want I could teach you how to skate fast.”
“I don’t think so.”
“Oh,Oh I think your team just got scored on again. How come they have more players than you?”
“Because I’m sitting in the penalty box.”
“Maybe you should try to win the fight next time.”
“Thanks I’ll remember that.”

“What do you do then?”
“I’m a photographer.”
“You mean you take pictures?”
“Something like that.”
“I take pictures too.”
“That’s nice”
“How much do you get paid, or do you have to pay them too?”
This kid is killing me.
“What kind of camera do you have?”
“I have a bunch of them.”
“I just have one. Yours must break down a lot to have to have a whole bunch of them.”
“YA I guess.”
“We should take some pictures together some time.”
“ I don’t think so.”
“Can I try on your gloves?”
“NO.”

Then a few weeks ago Marko posted a picture of himself here on APUG and I could swear, I’ve seen him before somewhere.

I just can’t think where.


Michael

jimcollum
09-26-2006, 12:42 PM
you missed a really 'interesting' chat session yesterday with Marko getting dating advice :)

tom_micklin
09-26-2006, 12:51 PM
I shouldn't have read this at work. It's kinda hard to explain to my co-workers why I'm laughing so hard.
My job isn't supposed to be funny.

Stephanie Brim
09-26-2006, 12:55 PM
I'm at home today, so I'm sitting here at my Mac drinking Sprite. Sprite that I almost drenched the keyboard and monitor with after reading this story. I've been in the chatroom with Marko before. I can see something like this happening.

arigram
09-26-2006, 01:00 PM
I am waiting for the reply of Marko...after all, he asked for it!

medform-norm
09-26-2006, 01:18 PM
Blansky, perhaps you should consider a career change towards a more verbally oriented occupation. I get the impression the audience enjoys your writing skills far more than all other skills you may possess. :D

blansky
09-26-2006, 01:29 PM
Blansky, perhaps you should consider a career change towards a more verbally oriented occupation. I get the impression the audience enjoys your writing skills far more than all other skills you may possess. :D

What are you saying? I suck as a hockey player?


Michael

Michel Hardy-Vallée
09-26-2006, 01:54 PM
ROTFLMAO!!! This is the best of your best, Michael! After all, it's a good thing Marko asked for it, because it seems that by poking you he got the best out of you!

Will there be a sequel in which the slightly disgruntled but nevertheless loveable antihero loser-player and the annoying kid team up against their differences to win something or do whatever that will bring tears to the audience in the face of the undisputable beauty of friendship?

I hope not.

blansky
09-26-2006, 02:49 PM
ROTFLMAO!!! This is the best of your best, Michael! After all, it's a good thing Marko asked for it, because it seems that by poking you he got the best out of you!

Will there be a sequel in which the slightly disgruntled but nevertheless loveable antihero loser-player and the annoying kid team up against their differences to win something or do whatever that will bring tears to the audience in the face of the undisputable beauty of friendship?

I hope not.

Funny you should mention that. Disney has been talking to me about just such a story.

Marko may be going "Hollywood" before your very eyes.

Michael

Black Dog
09-26-2006, 02:50 PM
I hear they're talking Tom Cruise for the film LMSO....

tim rudman
09-26-2006, 02:55 PM
brilliant. I love it.

DBP
09-26-2006, 03:21 PM
you missed a really 'interesting' chat session yesterday with Marko getting dating advice :)


Marko came to a site where 7/8ths of the posters are male to get dating advice? Now he's really in trouble.

TheFlyingCamera
09-26-2006, 03:32 PM
The Women of APUG have been a significant presence in the chatroom when he's been asking advice. So it isn't all hopeless...
But that doesn't comment on his listening skills, which may well completely undo any advice he's been given. Even the boys have given sound advice though-
Don't bring your iPod, Playstation, camera or portfolio on your first date.

Markok765
09-26-2006, 03:39 PM
Marko came to a site where 7/8ths of the posters are male to get dating advice? Now he's really in trouble.
I feel so honoured! Michal, This is great, but i dont play hockey:o
Guys tthat were in the chatroom, please PM blansky, so he can add to the story!

Photo Engineer
09-26-2006, 03:46 PM
Well, the advice was not all the best quality considering I was giving some of it with my rather warped perspective of things. LoL.

But it was fun.

PE

Robert Hall
09-26-2006, 03:50 PM
Uh, that would be, "No comment!" (he says as he convulses from keeping in the laughter.)

medform-norm
09-26-2006, 04:08 PM
What are you saying? I suck as a hockey player?


Michael

Oh, I wasn't aware that would sum up 'all other skills you may possess'.

Norm

ann
09-26-2006, 04:24 PM
Man, i am certainly out of touch, 13 year olds dating.

PS. Marko, Real men don't talk nor encourage others to do so for them

Andy K
09-26-2006, 04:27 PM
I think it's quite cool... seeing an elderly photographer taking a youngster under his wing like this. :)

David Brown
09-26-2006, 04:29 PM
Man, i am certainly out of touch, 13 year olds dating.

PS. Marko, Real men don't talk nor encourage others to do so for them

13-yr-olds aren't "real men"...

ann
09-26-2006, 04:34 PM
lol

Derek Lofgreen
09-26-2006, 05:41 PM
That was great Michael, great word pictures.

D.

Shmoo
09-26-2006, 06:35 PM
Oh god...just what I needed...Gatorade up the nose...

Markok765
09-26-2006, 06:40 PM
I’m thinking a backhand sounds pretty good right about now.


Oh come on!

Alex Hawley
09-26-2006, 07:15 PM
you missed a really 'interesting' chat session yesterday with Marko getting dating advice :)

I was there for that. Hey Marko, Blansky just gave you a terrific opener for that girl with the beautiful eyes!


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