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Digital Tattoos

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by , 01-27-2012 at 06:24 PM (4957 Views)
The traditional tattoo underworld is about to enter the 21st Century: Digitat, a startup company based in New Jersey, is introducing a revolutionary new device that promises high resolution, pixel-perfect tattoos without the inconvenience of spending time in a tattoo parlor. This amazing new device also spares the customer embarrassment of baring a body part in front of a tattoo artist.

In a small enclosure resembling an old-fashioned photo-booth, customers can select any of one thousand pre-loaded classic tattoo images. For example, the familiar Rolling Stone "tongue" tattoo is now available in the form of a 1 megapixel tattoo on any part of the body where it will fit:

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For a slightly higher price, customers can request 2, 3, or even 4 megapixel versions.

The founder and CEO of Digitat, Guido Johnson, is excited about the success of the company's first booth recently installed on the boardwalk in Atlantic City. Holding a device resembling both an electric shaver and a meat tenderizer in his hand, Mr. Johnson said "Yo people was like no way dude and I was like yeah just put your credit card in the slot and let the machine make you hot." Mr. Johnson pressed a button on the device and an impressive array of a thousand or more micro-needles appeared, each primed to deliver ink to whatever body part the device is pressed against. "It don't hurt too bad, it don't bleed. All done in like a minute and you can put the Digitat anywhere you like.."

Anywhere? we asked.

"Well almost anywhere, I mean, like, we have a disclaimer in the booth that advises people not to like put the Digitat on their like tongue and shit but like nipples and asses are cool."

The Digitat booth offers reliable performance, time after time as long as power is not interrupted to the device or the computer doesn't crash. You can have a truly unique tattoo created right on your own skin, selected from a vast library of one thousand professionally designed tattoos. And the issue of privacy is important to customers, says Mr. Johnson. "Yo who wants to like pull down their pants and have like a skank poking them down there and stuff. Digitat gets rid of all that." Wielding the device in his hand, Mr. Johnson exclaimed, "like you can get a Digitat anywhere it can fit" and then demonstrated that the device does indeed fit in some surprising places.

Mr. Johnson believes that the success of his Digitat booth on the boardwalk in Atlantic City proves that future of tattoos is no longer in shady, sleezy, skanky parlors on the wrong side of town. He envisions upscale high-resolution Digitat booths in Lowe's, Walmart, McDonald's and other locations where tattooed people are known to congregate.

When will color Digitat machines reach the market? "Yo we are like asking Epson to let us use their inks to like make all kinds of nice colors," says Mr. Johnson, "and they are like maybe." Imagine that! Archival, gallery-quality colored digital tattoos on any part of the body you like, in just a few painful seconds in a Digitat booth.

Updated 01-27-2012 at 11:44 PM by keithwms



  1. Hexavalent's Avatar
    Cripes... I can just imagine an 'app' for the various smartphones that converts pictures into tattoo-ready artwork.
  2. keithwms's Avatar
    Hehe, yep, snapshots you can wear...
  3. wildbillbugman's Avatar
    I wonder,
    Are Epson Inks aproved for TATOOS? I never had a desire to get a tatoo. But surely there is some standard for regulating toxicity levals of inks used for tatoos(?)
    Updated 01-30-2012 at 03:09 PM by wildbillbugman
  4. wildbillbugman's Avatar
    I was speaking of commercial tatoo parlors. Not prisons. Maybe these digital tatoo guns could also be loaded with a tattoo eraser? Or switch to "suck" instead of "blow"? I'm getting too old ! The popularity of tatoos these days confounds me! Only ugly people used to get them. Now beautiful women get them !?$#@@#*****
    Updated 01-30-2012 at 03:11 PM by wildbillbugman
  5. keithwms's Avatar
  6. semeuse's Avatar
  7. clayne's Avatar
    More and more ways of marketing "individuality" to individuals devoid of both attention and individuality. That's actually a great subject for another blog article, Keith - the Selling of Me or alternatively Buying Myself.

    Basically, as the population grows and the individual becomes even more of a cog, anything that can restore or provide even a smidgen of light on them will be considered valuable. Example A: Facebook.
  8. keithwms's Avatar
    True. Attention on me please!!! Spotlight! Accolade!



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