The missing camera lives. Long, embarrassing story - but it is found, and it is alive.
If you don't spill the beans, we'll be making up all sorts of stories. Like you found it beneath a pile of feminine hygiene products, or you mistook it for a bar of that black soap you can get at joke shops, accidentally dropped it into a pot of soup before putting the pot in the fridge for the month, losing it in your car and forgetting you still had it, got kicked under the bed and you only found it because you just did your annual vacuuming under there, and so forth.
Mildew Capital of the World