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  1. #11

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    Thanks for all the replies everyone. I think I'm going to have a chat with my Uncle (my cousin's dad) as he's a straight talking practical sort of chap who'll be good to enlist in working out the best groupings and sittings. He's also quite charismatic with a great talent for smoothing things out.
    Steve.

  2. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by perkeleellinen View Post
    Thanks for all the replies everyone. I think I'm going to have a chat with my Uncle (my cousin's dad) as he's a straight talking practical sort of chap who'll be good to enlist in working out the best groupings and sittings. He's also quite charismatic with a great talent for smoothing things out.
    Perfect. There you go.

    Good luck. Have fun.
    2F/2F

    "Truth and love are my law and worship. Form and conscience are my manifestation and guide. Nature and peace are my shelter and companions. Order is my attitude. Beauty and perfection are my attack."

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  3. #13
    Worker 11811's Avatar
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    I'm with the others. This is a documentation of family history not a squabble between warring factions.

    I think there are so many families who don't have good photos of all their members together it borders on criminal.

    One's identity is intimately tied up in who his relatives are. All your aunts and uncles and grandparents, your brothers and sisters, your cousins and your mother and father are all the people who made you who you are. It's a shame when we don't have pictures of them to see after they are gone.

    My personal belief is that people should be able to suck it up and swallow their pride long enough to sit down for a family portrait. They can sit on opposite sides if they want to.

    As the others say, it's not your responsibility to be the go-between. You should do the project the way you see fit and, if others can't play nice long enough to sit still for a picture that's their problem, not yours.

    Maybe you can get photos of the different people separately and include them in the album as individual photos.

    Talk it over with your uncle and the others. That's the best course of action. But I would gently make it known that if somebody wants to be left out of the family album it will be their own loss.

    I wouldn't want to be the one missing from the family album when future generations of kids ask, "Who was Uncle Randy?"
    Randy S.

    In girum imus nocte et consumimur igni.

    -----

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/randystankey/

  4. #14

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    Not being completely foreign to this type of situation, I can understand your predicament. If you do the "wrong thing", it can cause a lot of heart ache and potentially make already bad situations even worse. There is almost no ways to make everyone happy as contradicting expectations and conditions are the source of this conflict in the first place.

    If it is a large group (and sound like it will be), you could potentially place which ever the one who is a target of most animosity on one extreme side and the rest on the other corner, having everyone else act as a buffer. You could also put the current couple on one side, the other woman on the other side, and kids in the middle. Those are just ideas but these too can be a source of further conflict.

    I think, the best you could do is to talk to the party directly involved and find the least offensive way, telling them, if you can't find an agreement all of them will be out of the photos and the grand parents won't want that.

    I'm sorry this type of things happen but they do - more often than some would believe. Sadly though, the images you create will have to be the reminder of these issues and there is no ways to just ignore it.
    Develop, stop, fix.... wait.... where's my film?

  5. #15
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    Shoot them.
    TheFlyingCamera
    I say photograph the father of the children with the father, if he's now allowed to be with the kids again. then a separate photo of the mother with the children, then the father with the new wife, no kids. Don't put the exes together in the same photo, as they may still want to tear each others' eyes out.
    Items for sale or trade at www.Camera35.com

  6. #16
    Sirius Glass's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2F/2F View Post
    IMHO, if they have problems, they can figure them out. It is not your responsibility, nor should it be. Just tell them what you want to do, and let them decide what to do about the pix. You are trying to do something nice for the family. Just do the best you can without getting caught up in all the b.s. I am sure your efforts will be appreciated regardless of the details.
    What he and other said. There is nothing wrong with being straight forward. If necessary shoot photographs of the MIAs separately and put them in the album. After all, in spite of the hard feelings, the MIAs would be listed in an genealogy.

    Steve
    Warning!! Handling a Hasselblad can be harmful to your financial well being!

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    I leave the digital work for the urologists and proctologists.

  7. #17
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    RIP Kodachrome

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