Priceless lab tech moments.

[Anscojohn]

I made the mistake of dropping a roll once as I was taking it in. The customer was shocked and upset because according to her, the shock would make all her craptacluar snapshots blurry.

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Just for kicks, once, I asked the one hour "tech" at a local chain drugstore: "will my pictures be out of focus if I dropped the roll of film?" She conferred with the other "tech" and came back with the answer: "only if you dropped the film AFTER you took pictures on it."

[bob100684]

Our Noritsu QSS-3411 cuts the roll to size before the laser section.

One of my colleagues once pulled a paper jam of about 6' (depending on my memory's lack of embellishment) all neat folded accordion style in to folds between 1/4" and 1/2". We never did figure out how that happened.

Where'd you pull that from? The only time I ever saw an accordian type jam was when someone reinstalled the dryer on our 340 somewhat off kilter and the paper jammed at the dryer entrance.

[spoolman]

My first job ever was at a pro lab here in Toronto in 1974.They had just switched to the then new E-6 process.We processed a lot of sheet film the first couple of months of operation.There was an order of 150 4x5's from one very picky studio client who did not trust anything new.So it was a big shock to us when the first 10 sheets of a 50 sheet order came out of the dryer(we used a Hostert dip n' dunk processor) looking progressively lighter as if they were light fogged.My supervisor asked me to turn on the darkroom light when the processor was empty.Upon entering the room we were hit with a strong ammonia smell.When I took a specific gravity reading of the first dev, it was almost off the scale !!!!

We called Kodak Canada and the TSR came down,took samples of first dev. back with him and left use a new cube of first dev. concentrate.We heard back from him a few days later and found out that some dodo in the chem dept. ran out of E-6 first dev. cubes and put the concentrate in a C-41 Fix cube without rinsing it out first!!!

Needless to say the lab owners were not happy and neither was our client.The lab had to comp the entire order otherwise he was going to take his business elsewhere.

Doug

[bob100684]

my favorite tough customer was a realtor, allways bitching about how long it took to develop and print, even if we did his as a rush. He would come in at 4 and need to be at UPS by 5. Came in one day all pissed off at the end of my shift, screaming and calling my other tech a N-word. I left for a college night class, and saw him booking it down the highway, trying to get off a certain exit, so i pulled even with him and kept myself there, preventing him from getting off.

[Vaughn]

I have been in charge of the teaching darkroom/lab at a university for 17 years. With 3 beginning classes a semester at 24 students each, that creates plenty of opportunity for noob mistakes. This is not to say that intermediate and advance students don't make have their share of mistakes..such as the student that removed the darkslides from the 4x5 holders and proceeded to dunk the holders in the developing tank.

Never a dull moment! Cameras set on "M" when using the strobes (instead of "X"...we have some old equipment!), prints taken from the fix, quickly rinsed and put on the drying racks (because "they are only test prints"), and that sort of things.

Vaughn

[Removed Account]

Where'd you pull that from? The only time I ever saw an accordian type jam was when someone reinstalled the dryer on our 340 somewhat off kilter and the paper jammed at the dryer entrance.

It was in between the paper magazine climbing up the previously mentioned "elevator" thingy and leading towards the laser exposure unit. I'm still not sure how it ended up being that long, or how there was space for it as the mechanics of the machine are obviously designed to keep the paper flat. We hung on to it for several weeks just because it was such a neat thing to look at!

[bob100684]

It was in between the paper magazine climbing up the previously mentioned "elevator" thingy and leading towards the laser exposure unit. I'm still not sure how it ended up being that long, or how there was space for it as the mechanics of the machine are obviously designed to keep the paper flat. We hung on to it for several weeks just because it was such a neat thing to look at!

Weird. My favorite WTF is that moment with regards to paper wasn't a jam, but apparently when fuji tears a roll, the cut off the damaged areas and splice it back together with a large oval hole in the middle. This apparently lets the print processor know to not expose that piece of paper. So we had just adjusted several thousand digital files, and were letting it print, listening to the rhythm our 340 makes wirrclunkclickwirr, and all of a sudden WIIIRR WIIIR WIIIR and then a noise that sounded like the biggest paper jam ever in the exposure section. waited for whatever was in the processor to come out, but a like 3' long piece with a whole in the center was all that happened. Prints kept comming out just like normal.

[apochromatic]

I have been in charge of the teaching darkroom/lab at a university for 17 years. With 3 beginning classes a semester at 24 students each, that creates plenty of opportunity for noob mistakes. This is not to say that intermediate and advance students don't make have their share of mistakes..such as the student that removed the darkslides from the 4x5 holders and proceeded to dunk the holders in the developing tank.

Never a dull moment! Cameras set on "M" when using the strobes (instead of "X"...we have some old equipment!), prints taken from the fix, quickly rinsed and put on the drying racks (because "they are only test prints"), and that sort of things.

Vaughn

We had a student who kept fogging film when he processed it. Couldn't figure it out until we decided to accompany him into the darkroom. He got his film ready, reached for the pull-cord light switch and screwed his eyes closed....The switch didn't work perfectly so, with eyes tight shut, he took his film out to process it with the light on. Maybe he was scared of the dark?!

[apochromatic]

my favorite tough customer was a realtor, allways bitching about how long it took to develop and print, even if we did his as a rush. He would come in at 4 and need to be at UPS by 5. Came in one day all pissed off at the end of my shift, screaming and calling my other tech a N-word. I left for a college night class, and saw him booking it down the highway, trying to get off a certain exit, so i pulled even with him and kept myself there, preventing him from getting off.

What's the N-word?

[Vaughn]

The switch didn't work perfectly so, with eyes tight shut, he took his film out to process it with the light on. Maybe he was scared of the dark?!

Classic case of lights on, nobody home! Gotta love them!

Sometimes watching their whole process is the only way to figure out what is being done wrong. I have watched students toss around single-weight fiber paper, then accuse others of messing with their prints while it was on the drying screens because the prints were all wrinkled and dimpled when dry.

Vaughn

Apo -- "n-word" -- unacceptable slang word used to describe someone with (non-Arab) African ancestry