Switch to English Language Passer en langue française Omschakelen naar Nederlandse Taal Wechseln Sie zu deutschen Sprache Passa alla lingua italiana
Members: 70,925   Posts: 1,556,788   Online: 1001
      
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 17
  1. #1
    guitstik's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Eads TN.
    Shooter
    Multi Format
    Posts
    1,098
    Images
    66

    Awaiting the passing of a loved one.

    I am at a crossroads as I write this as our immediate family is gathered around expecting a grand matriarc of ours to pass ending a long and protracted suffering. She has been in hospice care for some time now and she has been deteriorating at a rapid pace but just this past Monday her oldest child left us unexpectedly and I fear that the news of his demise has excellerated her condition.

    The problem I am having is that as a photographer I am wanting to record the love , respect and high regard that we hold for her. My intent is not to capitalize on her pain but to exposite those around her as the family that she has watched over and reared over the years and are now paying the respect and admiration that she deserves. The question then becomes, should I or would that be an intrusion into a somber occasion?

    Joel
    Thy heart -- thy heart! -- I wake and sigh,
    And sleep to dream till day
    Of the truth that gold can never buy
    Of the bawbles that it may.

    www.silverhalidephotography.com

  2. #2
    ath
    ath is offline
    ath's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Germany
    Shooter
    35mm
    Posts
    890
    Do it, with respect, but do it. Talk to the others about it so they understand what you are after.
    Regards,
    Andreas

  3. #3
    Mike Wilde's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Misissauaga Canada
    Shooter
    Multi Format
    Posts
    2,939
    Images
    29
    Go low key. A simple manual cameral loaded with tri x pushed, etc.

    Do the simple stuff. Existing light. Medium wide angle, so some dof in existing light. Zone focus, or if too dim, string length focus.

    A close up of a younger one holding her hand.

    A pictture of any valued photos etc, arranged by her bedside.

    Make it just a sideline of your dropping by to visit.

    Make the time to vist with maybe a dozen images. The visiting will stay with you with an image or two to remind you of the time you spent.

    Time spent photographing without making the conversation is not the same.

    Do be pragmatic. Find out when she might be more alert, as opposed to napping.

    See if it lines up with when the highest levels of available light occur.
    my real name, imagine that.

  4. #4
    la.triglia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Roma - Italy
    Shooter
    Medium Format
    Posts
    26
    Dear Joel,
    We can say that you are touching an eternal dispute. In similar or even deeper situation within the family, I decided to go over the photo lover’ task and I accepted to be a member of that tragedy not a reporter.
    Best regards
    <°Aldo><

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Los Angeles, CA
    Shooter
    Multi Format
    Posts
    5,143
    I've been in your shoes too many times.

    If she's willing, go ahead. If not, don't.

    With my Dad the best portrait of him was taken during his time in hospice. As he deteriorated I put away the camera. To be honest, I wouldn't want any pictures of him in that condition. The memories in my head hurt enough.

    Do what's right for her, you, and your family. You know what's right; we don't!

  6. #6
    jp498's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Owls Head ME
    Shooter
    Multi Format
    Posts
    1,467
    Images
    74
    Personally, I'm not sure it can be easily recorded. If it can be, perhaps incorporate themes that are important (such as a family group picture if its' not too complicated) to her rather than the stark pain and deterioration, which isn't telling the whole story.

    Perhaps after she passes, you could build a slideshow of family photos that do tell the whole story. The theory is, that it's already recorded and you just have to assemble it. I've done it twice, and helped others with it. It can be tough and rewarding, and doesn't require the same social graces that one might want to have when photographing someone's last days or hours. It's not analog in that you'll probably do it with a computer, but you'll be carefully handling lots of great and meaningful analog photos created during the course of her life. It's truly telling an important story with photos, and family and friends will appreciate it (perhaps to the point of being overwhelmed by memories at first), people will learn new things, and it can complement the life celebration / funeral events in many cases.

  7. #7
    guitstik's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Eads TN.
    Shooter
    Multi Format
    Posts
    1,098
    Images
    66
    I have decided to forgo the photography and be a supportive husband and family member. I am not comfortable sittinge idly by as we await the inevitable and the idea of committing her suffering to film is not a pleasant consideration. I plan on taking the addvice that several here have postulated and put together a collage of her life from the photographs that we already have. I appreciate all the addvice and encouragement that you have given. For now tho, I will be giving my family all the encouragement and support that I can.
    Thy heart -- thy heart! -- I wake and sigh,
    And sleep to dream till day
    Of the truth that gold can never buy
    Of the bawbles that it may.

    www.silverhalidephotography.com

  8. #8
    MattKing's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Delta, British Columbia, Canada
    Shooter
    Multi Format
    Posts
    12,589
    Images
    60
    Is she a person who treasures photographs? If so, it may be fair to ask yourself whether she would appreciate or would have appreciated your photographing those around her.
    Matt

    “Photography is a complex and fluid medium, and its many factors are not applied in simple sequence. Rather, the process may be likened to the art of the juggler in keeping many balls in the air at one time!”

    Ansel Adams, from the introduction to The Negative - The New Ansel Adams Photography Series / Book 2

  9. #9

    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Selah, WA
    Shooter
    Multi Format
    Posts
    255
    Been there,,, no photos, glad I didn't.

    Having said that, my thoughts are with you. Hang on to the little bits of pleasure however you remember them, film, memory or notes that will happen on this voyage, those thougts will stay around a long time no matter how they're recorded.

  10. #10
    guitstik's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Eads TN.
    Shooter
    Multi Format
    Posts
    1,098
    Images
    66
    My wife's Grandmother passed away tonight. She will be sorely missed.
    Thy heart -- thy heart! -- I wake and sigh,
    And sleep to dream till day
    Of the truth that gold can never buy
    Of the bawbles that it may.

    www.silverhalidephotography.com

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast


 

APUG PARTNERS EQUALLY FUNDING OUR COMMUNITY:



Contact Us  |  Support Us!  |  Advertise  |  Site Terms  |  Archive  —   Search  |  Mobile Device Access  |  RSS  |  Facebook  |  Linkedin