Switch to English Language Passer en langue française Omschakelen naar Nederlandse Taal Wechseln Sie zu deutschen Sprache Passa alla lingua italiana
Members: 70,002   Posts: 1,524,413   Online: 959
      
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 17
  1. #1
    Robert Hall's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Lehi, Utah
    Shooter
    ULarge Format
    Posts
    2,040
    Images
    28

    Murphy's Photographic Laws

    Brought on by another thread: Murphy's Law

    Just in case we forget....

    T. Orland 's compendium of photographic truths
    Being a sampler of morals, axioms, and precepts to which EVERY PHOTOGRAPHER SHOULD EXPOSE THEMSELF

    The best scenic views are clearly designated by highway signs reading "No Stopping Anytime".

    Edward Steichen owned a three-legged dog, which he named "Tripod".

    The Post Office folds all parcels containing photographs.

    Camera straps never fail above soft surfaces.

    Lens caps and cable releases can become invisible at will.

    Dense negatives sink.

    Spotone bottles are designed to tip over when the cap is removed.

    Photographers fade faster than photographs.

    Financial success in photography is directly related to proper choice of
    subject matter. Falling airplanes, exploding volcanoes, and certain
    Presidential motorcades work best.

    No two light meters agree.

    A good photograph cannot be made in Fresno, CA.

    You will never, ever receive a N.E.A. grant.

    The work "Daguerreotype" cannot be spelled correctly.

    A new Hasselblad would take better pictures than your present camera.

    1/60 at f/8 is the correct exposure for all photographs.

    When your friends finally realize that you are a true artist, committed
    to making sensitive and meaningful images, they will ask you to
    photograph their wedding.

    Color slide viewing cures insomnia.

    On any tripod, only two legs work properly.

    Dust spot are attracted to sky areas.

    YES, PHOTOGRAPHERS DO IT IN THE DARK... but they have to stop every
    thirty seconds to agitate.

    Distant objects cannot be recorded with short exposures; light only
    travels 186 miles in 1/1000th second.

    There's nothing wrong with a 35mm that a 4x5 can't cure.

    Ansel Adams had 3 Secret Zones known only to him.

    When man creates a sharper lens, Nature will create a fuzzier object.

    Safelights aren't, available light isn't, but gadget bags are.

    Fast films compensate for slow photographers.

    You will always have 34 shots of ASA 1000 film left in your camera when
    you go to the beach on a sunny day, ASA 25 film to photograph a cave, and
    B/W film for the perfect rainbow.

    Owning more than one lens assures that you will always have the wrong
    lens on the camera for any given picture.

    Mounting a photograph is a misdemeanor in Arkansas.

    A light meter contains 26 fewer calories than an averaging meter.

    A butter knife is a useful tool for making adjustments that a camera
    store would charge $10 to make.

    A camera store will charge $75 to repair a camera that has been adjusted
    with a butter knife.

    Falling lenses are attracted to rocks.

    Sharper lenses won't help, realism is unrelated to Reality

    Expose for the secrets, develop for the surprises.

    And remember: Silver salts are sensitive to thoughts...
    Robert Hall
    www.RobertHall.com
    www.RobertHall.com/mobile
    Apug Portfolio
    Facebook Profile


    Technology is not a panacea. It alone will not move your art forward. Only through developing your own aesthetic - free from the tools that create it - can you find new dimension to your work.

  2. #2
    blansky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Wine country in Northern California
    Posts
    5,029
    Good stuff.

    Michael
    I couldn't think of anything witty to say so I left this blank.

  3. #3
    Loose Gravel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Santa Barbara, CA
    Posts
    921
    Images
    14
    Is this with permission?
    Watch for Loose Gravel

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Posts
    5,231
    Images
    9
    "Owning more than one lens assures that you will always have the wrong
    lens on the camera for any given picture."

    The one that nails me every time.
    Technological society has succeeded in multiplying the opportunities for pleasure, but it has great difficulty in generating joy. Pope Paul VI

    So, I think the "greats" were true to their visions, once their visions no longer sucked. Ralph Barker 12/2004

  5. #5
    Rlibersky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    St Paul MN
    Shooter
    8x10 Format
    Posts
    775
    Images
    11
    The exact spot for your tripod is within reach, if you are a bird.

  6. #6
    David Brown's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    near Dallas, TX USA
    Shooter
    Medium Format
    Posts
    3,261
    Images
    5
    Quote Originally Posted by Robert Hall
    When your friends finally realize that you are a true artist, committed to making sensitive and meaningful images, they will ask you to photograph their wedding...
    ... for free! :rolleyes:

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Shooter
    Large Format
    Posts
    4,530
    "Owning more than one lens assures that you will always have the wrong
    lens on the camera for any given picture."
    Or.......

    No matter how many lenses you have, the one picture you KNOW is going to be a work of art requires the one lens you dont have....

  8. #8
    KenS's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Shooter
    Multi Format
    Posts
    348
    Quote Originally Posted by Robert Hall
    Brought on by another thread: Murphy's Law

    Just in case we forget....


    There's nothing wrong with a 35mm that a 4x5 can't cure.

    ...
    And there's nothing wrong with 4 x 5 that an 8 x10 (or larger) will not make heavier, slower and a Hell of a lot more expensive.

    Ken

  9. #9
    George Papantoniou's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Athens
    Shooter
    Medium Format
    Posts
    985
    Images
    98
    Quote Originally Posted by Robert Hall
    Edward Steichen owned a three-legged dog, which he named "Tripod".
    I didn't know that... Really interesting. We adopted a stray dog that was hit by a car, had her leg amputated and called her Gitzo... She also has one eye damaged in a fight (probably) and one ear slit (so she has three of them). She is the ultimate odd dog (3 legs, 15 toes, 1 eye, 3 ears, 1 tail, 1 tongue etc etc). I don't think that there is something she owns in even numbers... Her 2 nostrils maybe...

  10. #10
    Andy K's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Sunny Southend, England.
    Shooter
    Multi Format
    Posts
    9,422
    Images
    81
    "You will always have 34 shots of ASA 1000 film left in your camera when
    you go to the beach on a sunny day, ASA 25 film to photograph a cave, and
    B/W film for the perfect rainbow."


    Yup. And if you rewind the film and change it, you will forget you did and wind up with half a roll of double exposures next time you use it...


    ... and the day you recieve a new camera will be dull, heavily overcast and raining...


    -----------My Flickr-----------
    Anáil nathrach, ortha bháis is beatha, do chéal déanaimh.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast


 

APUG PARTNERS EQUALLY FUNDING OUR COMMUNITY:



Contact Us  |  Support Us!  |  Advertise  |  Site Terms  |  Archive  —   Search  |  Mobile Device Access  |  RSS  |  Facebook  |  Linkedin