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  1. #1

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    Working up to the truth

    Cover-My -A to "seem" OK and the truth aren't the same things. I loaned a very expensive lens to a stranger (I wanted to get to know her). She seem very interesting but also very diffedent. Imagination overwhelmed common sense in terms of address, deposit, verification of insurance, references, Etc. There was a dirth of communication. I had her e-mail address and her phone number. Altitude, weather, and impassible roads of winter overtook her darkroom location. I stewed about my impulsiveness. I wasn't using the lens as my darkroom was being relocated. Many months later I fianlly sent an e-mail and the lens appeared very shortly. Now a year later, fate has given me the second opportunity to go through this again. Unfortunately I've not matured "spiritually" to proceed with grace. I am erked with myself either way as I don't believe that I can "gracefully" lend it without a lot of self-talk all the while.
    Yet, even loaning equipment to a friend can turn out disastrous. Dropping, theft, tightening too much happen easily. So the truth sees how small I am. I'm chagrinned with my poverty and that's the truth.
    Last edited by Clueless; 10-02-2006 at 05:04 AM. Click to view previous post history. Reason: mis-spelling

  2. #2
    Digidurst's Avatar
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    Hmmm... maybe it just turns out that you're human.

  3. #3
    jovo's Avatar
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    Well....your screen name is "Clueless" after all. It's not as if you're 'expected' to offer to lend anyone anything. Why not wait a while 'til you develop a relationship where there's the kind of trust that warrants lending something valuable.
    John Voss

    My Blog

  4. #4
    jstraw's Avatar
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    You don't want to loan her the lens again and you don't want to hurt her feelings. Is that the concise version? You'd still like to "get to know her." Is that the subtext?

    Yep, you're human. Don't beat yourself up. Just decline to loan it again. If she can't handle that major disappoinment with grace, how much more do you need to know?

  5. #5
    copake_ham's Avatar
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    Why don't you invite her to visit your darkroom and use your lens there?

  6. #6

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    During life we have to learn some difficult skills. Learn how to say this when asked by others for things you are reluctant or would be uncomfortable or foolish to do: no Accept that it can be done by you in a kind fashion but that someone else may not like it. Remember that you are not required to explain yourself.
    Claire (Ms Anne Thrope is in the darkroom)

  7. #7
    blansky's Avatar
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    You're using the lens as a ploy to "get to know her". If you wish to get to know her, ask her out. Don't be such a wus.

    As for the lens, if you're all that altruistic, give her the damn thing and forget about it. You're whining about whether she'll hurt it is juvenile.

    What you are doing now is contemplating the act of giving, in terms of what you will receive. You are actually trying to barter something. The use of your lens, for her.

    The question you have to ask yourself, would you lend the lens to her if you didn't want to go out with her.

    Michael
    I couldn't think of anything witty to say so I left this blank.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by blansky View Post
    You're using the lens as a ploy to "get to know her". If you wish to get to know her, ask her out. Don't be such a wus.

    As for the lens, if you're all that altruistic, give her the damn thing and forget about it. You're whining about whether she'll hurt it is juvenile.

    What you are doing now is contemplating the act of giving, in terms of what you will receive. You are actually trying to barter something. The use of your lens, for her.

    The question you have to ask yourself, would you lend the lens to her if you didn't want to go out with her.

    Michael

    Excellent Answer!!!
    Rick Jason.
    "I'm still developing"

  9. #9
    Dave Wooten's Avatar
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    She probably did not use the lens...

    She just wanted to go out with you

  10. #10

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    Easy does it...

    I didn't seek her out in either instance. Granted I "had" some illusions. As to giving it to her...we're talking about an APO EL Nikkor -105 MM.

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