In that case, Don, I think we're basically in agreement. I agree that if the subject doesn't want the photos distributed that in most cases, it's best to minimize the unpleasantness and maintain one's friendships and reputation as a flexible person, but at the same time without incurring undue risk.
Have a neg burning party with the gal and the monkey. End of problem.
Another way to think about this is to ask whether an action or inaction would hurt me or people around me. If so, don't do it. I would give them to her.
See, I disagree though that his would "hurt" them.
It only hurts them because they are being unreasonable.
Again, by that logic, there is no standard of reasonable behavior.
"It hurts me that you won't buy me a new Leica."
By your standard you MUST buy me a new Leica now.
There is no difference. I am in now way acting in malice, or even...acting at all! No distribution is going on. No publishing.
And yet, I am the bad guy by your logic.
How does that work?
Official Photo.net Villain
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]DaVinci never wrote an artist's statement...[/FONT]
Robert, why dont you try meeting them half way. You stated you would not mind giving the nudes back, and these are probably the shots that concern them the most. Tell them you wish to keep the other shots for future progress evaluation and that the nudes will be destroyed in their presence.
Think about it, you are going to school to be a photographer, you dont need anybody out there bad mouthing you, even if it is through no fault of your own.
IMO you are stressing too much about this, if these are the best shots you have ever taken, then by all means tell them NO! but if your evaluations merits destroying some of them to keep a friendship, then IMO both of you will win and those are the best kind of negotiations....good luck bubba...
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This guy sounds like a real hothead. If this doesn't break up their potential marriage then something else will. If you give him the negs, and then they break up, where are you then? Never give negs away. Keep them or destroy them or give them a bunch of fake copy negs, but don't give away real negs.
I too made the suggestion to give her the film, but I did not really mean so she could print it, I was thinking the destroyed film.
But the thing that I am saying is maybe Robert needs to look at his work with a little perspective. Although I have not seen these images I have looked at the photographs he has posted on his site and it looks to me as though he is in the learning stages of developing his craft and vision. Finding volunteer models to practice with is a great thing but keep in mind it is a learning experience for both parties. I don't really think these photographs have a great value beyond the people involved in making them. I do not think it will hurt anything to move on and keep developing his vision and refining what he is trying to say with his photography no matter who has, or prints the negatives. As far as someone else printing bad prints. I think most of us have experienced that with prints we made ourselves early on. We make what we think is a wonderful print of our best work only to see it later on, and be surprised at how bad it really was.
I often see photographers spending great quantities of time effort and materials planning their limited editions when it is clear that the editions will be limited mostly by the photographs themselves. So my recommendation to lighten up, see your work as not only a work in progress but also a journey in learning. See this event for what it is and move on the the next learning step. As your vision and craft evolve I think this sort of thing will be much less likely happen.
You are not the "bad guy." I am suggesting that you be magnanimous. That way you are the big person. He may be the petty one here.
I've been through enough to know that some things are not worth having to look over your shoulder forever. Also, I am not saying to run from every situation. I personally am not afraid to confront someone. Having a law degree and a considerable amount of martial arts skill, nothing scares me. Its a matter wisdom. A person can be right but still lose.
Robert, it sounds to me like your decision is made. So, I'll just say that whatever your decision, stick to it with conviction. Best of luck, and I hope it all turns out well!
I would talk to them and say thad you would like to make a compromise, the negs get for 5 years from now in a Banksave or something similar and you do not make any prints and not showing any picture to anyone for this 5 years.
Then in 5 years I will talk to you again an if it is still a problem for you I would destroy the negs under your eyes.
With thad you get some time thad meanwhile they devorse or they change ther mind etc.
Or maybe you don't like the shoots anymore etc.
If they don't want thad compromise I would sell the negs for a realistic price but with a written and signed statement from them thad they have non permission for printing, scanning selling putting onto the internet just not any use of the negs without your written okay!
I'm sure they will not stay long together, because this relationship starts with something wich will give thad girlfriend a penalty sooner or later!
And then he has to think about hes karma!
Peace and good light to all of you!