Okay, I've got this figured out. We're missing one major bling factor: rims. With that in mind, if you want ultimate bling, complete the following steps.
1. Steal (for street cred) a high-altitude camera out of a U2 or a Blackbird, or something along those lines.
2. Have half of it nickel plated, half of it gold plated, and have your name inlaid on it with diamonds.
3. Steal (again, street cred) a late-model Caddy.
4. Strap the pimped-out camera to the top, Blues Brothers-style. Use alligator skin straps. - and this is the important part -
5. Set the Caddy up on 24's and hydraulics, because the hydraulics (are you ready for this?) will give you tilt and shift movements.
6. Soak up the respect.
And wear an oversized analog lightmeter on a gold chain so people don't notice your pants are only half on.
I think I'll have some custom lensboards for my Calumet 540 monorail made out of mirror instead of wood or metal, with Swarovski crystals outlining the lens! And I'll outfit the bellows with hydraulics so that I can focus with just a slight turn of one bejeweled knob.
It'll advertise the whole list of enhancements as the "Juicy Gelatin" trim package.