I would turn myself inside out and pin myself to the mantle in plain sight.

Barring that, I'd have stayed in the back of the jeep where you left me after the last trip, hoping you'd forget me. How about stuffed into the same bag as the tent? Was jbannow looking hungry when you were breaking down the tent on the last trip? Do the tent poles in any way resemble bacon? Did they get botox injections and convert into a tripod like the one you're always giving more attention to, and running off with every morning?
Good luck finding them, and I also have a tent to lend if you need one. I may even be able to find the poles given a little notice.
Lee
(the one with the L appended)