Next year my Grandfather turns 90, two years later my Grandmother will turn 90. In between these two big events they will celebrate their 70th wedding anniversary. I'm going to produce a photo book of informal family portraits to present to them - probably on their anniversary. I'm going to shoot them in colour and print them myself, possibly I'll attempt to bind the prints or at least pay someone to do that.

I have an issue which threatens to de-rail all of this.

Last year one of my cousins split from his long-term partner (they were unmarried but had been together for over ten years and had two kids) and married another woman within a few months. It was messy and for a while there was a restraining order to stop him and his new wife from seeing the kids - don't know why but the subject is tricky in our family (lots of shaking of heads, mutterings about it all being so sad, etc).

How can I deal with this? I have a situation where my cousin's wife is a somewhat taboo subject, his kids cannot be with her and their mother is hostile to him and is sort of still a family member but not quite (if you get my meaning).

I wanted to do group and individual pictures and throw the best into a nice collection of generally fun snaps. I can shoot my cousin with his wife - but what of his kids? I can't do a group with all of them. Should I include his ex partner? I think I'll be damned if I do and damned if I don't. Should I shoot the kids by themselves and leave out their mother?

These questions have been dogging me for weeks and I'm starting to wonder if it's even worth embarking on this project such is the risk of being caught in the choppy waters of family fallouts.

Any ideas appreciated!