Snappy answers to stupid comments: "Oh, she thinks she's a professional commentator with that mouth!"
A better answer: "Yeah, it's how I made $250,000 in a single month! You could too, if you used film!"
There's some good Churchill repartee for swapping snide remarks.
I wish I had the patience to think that way. My first reaction is always to spin around in a confrontational manner. I so cannot play the part of the duck....