You can get there digitally or in a darkroom, here at APUG we only discuss the traditional processes, no digital. See or one of the many other sites that deal with photoshop for digital questions.

Having to underexpose with a color neg says to me that the guy or gal printing you negs needs some management. Ask them to print it darker.

I regularly overexpose color negs by 2-4 stops and still get nice, not washed out, prints.