Sorry Mr Flying Camera (ironic).
My only war stories are: Speed Graphic being hit by basketball, back when I was in h.s. trying to shoot some sports with it (it got bent and ended up on the court causing a time-out).
Again pegged by a basketball bleeding on court with N8008 smashed into my face.
Last my worst... I left my Canon A-1 and tele lens on roof of car, and watching it slide off the Buick in my rear-view mirror. Road rash in the worst degree.