Welcome to film development! It is easy and straightforward, unless you don't want it to be.
If you are new to film, then you should not use technical pan type films such as ATP until you have mastered the basic skill set first. These are ultra-high contrast films that need very special development to produce a full tonal scale. I have a lot more experience, relatively speaking of course, and I still avoid those films. To be brutally honest, I haven't identified a need to use such slow films yet, as the grain on Acros is so small that I do not notice it on a 12"x16" print from a 35 mm negative. If a film is difficult to handle, such as KB25, well just avoid it. Why torture yourself? It may be possible to cause less softening with low pH developers - the more alkaline a developer, the more the gelatine softens. My overall advice based on what you give above is to vastly reduce the variety of materials that you work with. If I were you, I'd pick Acros or FP4+, maybe one slow film (PanF+) and maybe a fast film that can be pushed in a pinch, say HP5+. Then use one developer and work through the variety of usage conditions and processing methods until you understand those two or three films well enough. For a developer, start with something like D76(=ID11) or Xtol, and stick with it. Rodinal, HC-110, TMax developer, Ilford DD-X and Perceptol etc are all good developers, and used correctly will produce great negatives, but you cannot learn and use them all at once, as you will be forever experimenting and your results will be up and down, not to speak of the clutter in your chemicals cupboard. The films suggested here are tolerant of all commonly available developers. I am not aware of bad film-developer matches in the Ilford line-up, and Acros is beautiful in any developer. The European films (Adox, Efke, Rollei, Foma) require much more circumspection, and some film-developer combinations are really to be avoided. If I need to start looking for special developers because my films don't like Rodinal or D76, well then it just becomes a schlep that kills the joy of photography.
Keep it simple.
Keep it simple.
Keep it simple. Did I mention that before?