See posts #11 and 12 in above thread for my tips re loading film.
I don't use stop bath. Fresh running water is good enough for stopping development.
My standard practice is 30 seconds gentle rolling action at the start followed by 4 gentle rolling inversions every 60 seconds. Personal consistent practice rather than chasing the next best advice you receive is the way to go once you get a bit more experience! Don't sweat too much over "mistakes". Shoot more film!
I use 1+1 development in XTol which makes starting temperature control easier. Don't be afraid to stick the thermometer in between agitation to see what ambient or tank temperature is doing especially if you are more than 3 or 4 degrees either side of 20C. Adjust finishing time up or down a little accordingly. (I actually start at 19C if the ambient/tank temperature is higher and 21C if its cold in the darkroom.)
With fix I agitate for 30 seconds and then rest for 30 seconds for no less than 4 minutes. I shoot primarily TX400. Again, standard consistent practice for me which works.