Isn't there some sort of "Artistic" (with an upper-case "A") possibility here?

A large piece of photo-paper, carefully (or the opposite) arranged strips of damaged negs laid on top, a light-source -- and an impressive Artist's Statement pronouncing the ultimate, naturally random results showing the tenuous and delicate nature of our organised existence. Should do the job nicely. And when you get the multiple thousands in your bank-account, I'm in for 10%