Quote Originally Posted by Ian Grant View Post
I'd bite but already have 2 or 3.
You have two or 3? My goodness...you should have bought this one and then you'd have 4 and that would be what marketing guys refer to as a goldmine! Yes...I can see it now "Ian's Unique Exercise Swim Goggles". Lose weight FAST. How? Well, just epoxy two of these together side by side (remember, you'll have 4 lenses...enough to make 2 sets) and then attach some elastic straps (you can use the same epoxy for this) to the sides. Then put your goggles on and swim. That's all there is to the weight loss system. Is it really going to make you lose weight? I guarantee you will lose some weight almost immediately after you begin your swim. Why? Well, trying to see where you're going by looking through Ian's Unique Goggles is going to make you so nauseated that you'll quickly regurgitate the contents of your stomach...and note: the goggles are also a fine and non-narcotic substitute for ipecac. Your kid eats some poison berries and you need to make him puke real fast? Just slap on Ian's goggles and be sure to stand behind him.

With all the fame, you'll have to change your last name for anonymity, but just think of the respect you'll be given...kids will duck into doorways when they see you coming and whisper "look..there goes Ian Hodpecker. I hear he is the originator of "The Goggles." Women will smile and wink and guys will start imitating your walk and talk. You can go in and tell your boss "I'm finished with this rat race. I'm going to make my millions selling magic goggles!" And the best part? I'm not going to charge you a cent for all this career counseling!