Whether you use Ss or plastic it helps to practice with a throwaway roll. This will allow you to see what you are doing wrong. Dump the changing bag and load your film in a room that can be made dark. I suspect that part of your problem is from moisture from your hands.
SS reels ARE easy to load. Again the key is to practice., first with your eyes open and then, when you become more confident, with your eyes closed.
With plastic reels it is very important that they be kept scrupulously clean. A product like CLR may be helpful to remove calcium buildup. I worry about the pencil lead trick and graphite particles getting on the emulsion.