It's pretty simple, really. Just demonstrate good-faith and abide by the charter of whatever group(s) you choose to participate in. Online or in person. And if the charter becomes modified in a way that rules out your participation, then move to another group with a charter that more closely aligns with your needs, or start your own group and set the charter yourself.
It's the price one pays to participate in groups. Any groups. From three people on a street corner to membership in world-wide organizations. Group membership always imposes trade-offs and constraints. But group membership is also never required.
Plus, it's not petty. Not even close. It's just the polite thing to do. Socially correct behavior. One wouldn't show up at a meeting of wine connoisseurs only to demand that they all include in their discussions the beer you like to drink, right? Nor would one try to "beat the rules" by pouring one's beer into a wine bottle. At least I hope not.