Thanks, everyone. I've ordered the black leather apron Doremus suggested, as it seems to fit most parts of the bill. Incidentally, a thought to consider, just for a moment: wearing leather in the darkroom. Perhaps this post will get blocked by some filters out there.
In another lifetime, or perhaps a little later in this one, I will follow Drew's suggestion to use different rooms for different activities, fingers crossed. And if I find black dacron one in the meantime, so much better.