Quote Originally Posted by Truzi View Post
In the Greater Cleveland Area, every winter people act as if they've never seen snow before. I've begun to sarcastically reassure these people that they'll get used to it after they've lived here a couple years. When they tell me they grew up here, I then ask why the hell they are freaking out. (I grew up here too.)
In the Middle Atlantic states there are several things what happen when there is a forecast of impending snow:
  1. The minimum acceptable speed on all roads regardless of road width or pavement surface is 70 miles per hour.
  2. When snow does appear all cars must stop at the base of icy hills. It is imperative that they start up without any momentum and proceed up the hills with wheels spinning. When the reach the point that the vehicle starts to slide down hill, the accelerator is pushed to the floor and the steering wheel is whipped left and right as quickly as possible.
  3. Stopping on snow or ice requires full force be repeated applied to the brake pedal.
  4. Snow tires and chains are not permitted. The only legal winter tires are smooth trendy designer tires.
  5. On the first report of impending snow, everyone rushes [see #1] to the stores and to buy out milk, bread and toilet paper. The best that I can figure is that the cause for these actions are based on a pagan ceremony that must be done in every household. The ceremony involves making french toast and causes great gastric distress. Frankly if the ceremony with the french toast causes such explosive evacuations, why anyone would even consider conducting the pagan ceremony?