Quote Originally Posted by Sirius Glass View Post
In the Middle Atlantic states there are several things what happen when there is a forecast of impending snow:
  1. The minimum acceptable speed on all roads regardless of road width or pavement surface is 70 miles per hour.
  2. When snow does appear all cars must stop at the base of icy hills. It is imperative that they start up without any momentum and proceed up the hills with wheels spinning. When the reach the point that the vehicle starts to slide down hill, the accelerator is pushed to the floor and the steering wheel is whipped left and right as quickly as possible.
  3. Stopping on snow or ice requires full force be repeated applied to the brake pedal.
  4. Snow tires and chains are not permitted. The only legal winter tires are smooth trendy designer tires.
  5. On the first report of impending snow, everyone rushes [see #1] to the stores and to buy out milk, bread and toilet paper. The best that I can figure is that the cause for these actions are based on a pagan ceremony that must be done in every household. The ceremony involves making french toast and causes great gastric distress. Frankly if the ceremony with the french toast causes such explosive evacuations, why anyone would even consider conducting the pagan ceremony?
Only slightly different in Illinois: here we have a public holiday (a floating feast) called "What's all this white s***? day" where the drivers go out, drive crazy, and ask that question, not having seen snow for roughly eight months.