Just want to wish you the best of everything in the future, regardless which path you choose I hope the bumps are few and an easy grade along the way.
I believe most all of us have at least once in life felt the pain, confusion, and near dispair of what you are going through. Simply understand, while you are on this journey you have many friends supporting you and your dreams. Never feel alone, people all over the world care about you! And are behind your every move! Good luck!