I'd go with the refund, but a I agree with the sentiments of the "attitude'. I've been on ebay for nine years now and I've noticed that people on ebay in general are becoming less and less polite. Sometimes I've won and item, and the communication for the seller is just terrible in "tone of voice".
Put it this way, if any camera dealer ever talked to me on the phone or in e-mail that way, i would tell them to shove it and take my business elsewhere. As it is, I remember who these sellers are, and never bid or buy anything from them again. The weird part it, some of these exact same people will bend over backwards answering question while you are bidding, but it's almost this attidue that once you have won, the seller has "got you" and you are pretty much skunked. Not a great attitude for any sales person.
I also find now it's at the point, that used gear from dealers is actually cheaper than Ebay much of the time. I've bought two, used, 4x5 LF lenses in the past year from dealers, one old, one fairly new, but in both cases, the lens was exactly as described, the shuttered fully CLA'ed and tested, everything worked right out of the box.
You buy a used 4x5 lens on ebay, you often have to send it off to be CLA'ed, so you add in the extra wait time, the extra postage, etc, and all of a sudden it cost more than the dealer who sold you a fully serviced lens to begin with. But you know, even with 35mm or medium format gear, I think the exact same rules applies too.
I still watch Ebay all the time, but likes others have said, I only bid when there is something I cannot find anywhere else. Ebay is good for that, but pretty much sour for anything else, IMO.