Thanks for all the comments, wow, I am overwhelmed.

Part of my problem, i will admit, is desire to control the whole process, the other part of the problem is mixing dry chemicals..... (I use ABC Pyro and shoot mainly 10x8).

One day I will get over it (I have managed to get over worse things, I mean I can swim now... the water as a hazardous substance is true, especialy if you come up through it to quickly, as i found out..) but in the short term, i feel better about using "technicians" to do the "dirty" stuff. I will no doubt be able to get into the darkroom again sometime, but in the meantime I will make images that others will develop and print for me and credit them as part of the process.