I expected that amongst the over-educated here, there would be some who understood what heads, hearts and tails were, and we would have an insider's laugh.

I'm glad that you cleared that up....in this forum, "heads" might be portraits, and "tails" a genre somewhat less acceptable to the more upright members of the community. But I'll be danged if I can figure out what "hearts" would be...

Raschig rings (haven't encountered that term in casual conversation lately) increase the theoretical plate count for the column...these would be (ahem) "wet plates", in keeping with the alternative-process interests of the original poster....