Since I don't take Artist's Bios very seriously (actually, I don't take much seriously anymore), here is a bio I have used several times in the past:

Gene LaFord… artist, photographer, former ZONE-ite and Grumpy Ol’ Dad received his MFA (Mighty Fine Artist) from Arizona State University. Why? Because it wasn’t here. For some unknown reason, attributed to strong directional ties to the North Pole, Gene resides and works somewhere in Springfield, MA.
Gene’s photographs depict the images hidden in the vast caverns between his ears, images laden with social and political confusion, poking fun at his very own existence. Occasionally he can be found, lost and dazed, wandering around the Quabbin Reservoir, looking for worthy vistas to point his camera at. In his spare time he just sits around pondering the significance of the Blues.