I guess what I am trying to say is that I do not agree with the OP's 2nd item, which I believe is a myth created by photographers to explain a feel or sense in an image, which stands out beyond the image itself. That feel is not necessarily the truth the majority of the time, but an imposition.
A friend of mine once told me he fealt my street photographs were self-portraits, with their emphasis on solitary existence, detachment and melancholy (rather than sadness). I think he touched upon something, because I see that in the portraits I take also...even of my children...and I have happy kids.
So I think I go even further than you Cheryl to suggest that more often than not, it is 80% the photographer and 20% the subject...but then I may be just a selfish photographer