I thought I'd never do it. The idea got rejected again and again. Even
though it seemed to have disappeared from my consciousness, it
somehow wasn't forgotten and waited for a chance to pop up
once more. A suppressed desire. It happened just now, probably
as a result of drinking a few of beers in solitude.

I lay in bed huddled to my girlfriend, looking into the darkness.
When she fell asleep, I suddenly felt a terrible sense of loss. Not
about anything particular, just a vague yet overwhelming emotion
that good things pass and nothing pleasant remains. After a while
I got up from bed and violently shook the mouse of my computer
to wake it up. Then I went to eBay and bought the first and last roll
of Kodachrome 64 in my life (fresh, process paid, surprisingly not too
overpriced at all and with cheap shipping from Britain). I wish I
could control myself better and hope that I'll eventually have the